Family and Racism

I've been on a trip from my homestate Oklahoma to Florida, and throughout my drive out and my stay here, I've noticed many connections between racism and family. I have seen more than ever the impact that parents have on future generations. Adults feel solid in their convictions because of their life experience, and unfortunately many adults don't realize or even try to emphasize the power of their words and actions on younger people. The problem here is that children really need to learn to form their own opinions by researching and discussing topics. What many parents want in their offspring is a miniature of themselves, but they need to understand that a child is an independent person that needs to take everything in in equal doses and shape an opinion and a personality on their own. This will ensure an open-minded, strong, decisive adult upon reaching maturity.

The Basics of Sharing

I love sharing. I feel as though anything you do by yourself is probably ten times more enjoyable when done together with another person. I'm sure many people feel the same way; maybe it stems from a fear of loneliness, or maybe it is only that activities are more fun when stirred up by another personality present. Of course that is a topic for another discussion, but what I'm really concerned about is etiquette regarding the material possessions we deal with between friends. At a younger age it was simple; I have a toy truck, and since we are together we can both play with the toy truck. Although initially we all wanted to play by ourselves and were miserly with our possessions, as we got older it became apparent that it wasn't so bad to share the vehicle that I gained after an excruciating wait until Christmas. I soon realized that opening my new favorite toy on Christmas morning would never be as exciting as sitting in my sandbox while me and my friend made the biggest sand pile ever made, all the while making engine noises and imagining we were on a very important construction site.

The pure fun of friends is too often lost in the midst of construed feelings. We all get caught up saying "I worked hard for this, no one should share the fruits of my labor," and forget that we didn't work hard for what we have so that we could enjoy it alone; we work hard to enhance our own life and the lives of the people we care about. This doesn't mean that you can let people walk all over you, and use you for your possessions; sharing is a two-way street, after all. So be sure to watch for the ones who are only after your things, for they aren't interested in getting to know you and making a real connection with you, they only want a connection to your big screen TV.

So the next time you close your fist to someone, think about how many toys you had when you were young, and compare that to the fantastic relationships you had with friends. I can recall some of my neater gizmos and gadgets, but I will never forget playing basketball with my neighbors and riding bikes all over the neighborhood. Remember that memories don't come in dollars and cents, but in the people and experiences we chance upon.

Lunch Table Drama

Tonight I found myself in a situation darkly reminiscent of middle school. I was sitting around talking with a few acquaintances when another person we all knew was brought up in a negative light, and an eighth-grade cafeteria romp was laid on this person's character. I had had no previous interaction with the topic of conversation, but it didn't feel right to be talking that way about a person when he had no means to defend himself against the ugly accusations. Now I had to decide what to do. If I stood up for him I would feel much better about myself, perhaps healing the wounds from when I was on the reverse side of this assault; or I could say nothing, let the night sail smoothly on, and listen as the conversation carried on to another subject.

I always find myself thinking in terms of black and white, taking sides or riding the fence, standing up or saying nothing instead of striving to find the gray lurking in the middle. I eventually decided to simply steer the conversation in another direction, but was that enough? If I don't punish them for talking that way then they will surely do it again when I am not around, but can I be the judge here? It really comes down to justice, a person should not lobby an attack like that without allowing a rebuttal from the defendant. This is sounding a lot like a court show, but there's a reason they organized it that way, it allows both sides to speak their peace in an organized fashion. Maybe I should make a social court show...